Thursday, June 6, 2013

Can't I be Mormon AND Straight?

Confessions of a Straight Mormon Boy, Part IV
(Note: what follows is a work of fiction, a hypothetical look at a fake world in an attempt to cultivate empathy in the real world)

In College:

After my mission, I had a hard time trying to figure out what to do with my life. You hear about heterosexuals in the Mormon church, but not very often and the stories are usually not happy ones. Straight men and women do not ever serve in bishoprics or any other positions of real decision-making authority. Many times, they just pretend to be gay in order to fit in with everyone else's expectations (a lifestyle I was getting pretty familiar with). I have heard many stories about straight men and/or women who pretended to be gay, got married in the temple, etc. until one day they just couldn't handle it anymore. They finally came out and just left their families high and dry. I did not want that to be me.

Lately, the world--and some of the church--has started to open up more and to talk more freely about heterosexuality. Many people in the church are even starting to admit that it may not be a conscious choice to be straight. Generally, I think people are starting to be more sensitive about it. But what if you are a straight man in the church? What are your options, really? You can just marry a man and try to make it work; You can stay single and celibate your entire life; you can try to let go and live a heterosexual lifestyle but try to still hold on to your faith somehow; or just forget about the church. None of these options sounds very great to me.

I focus hard on my studies and still try to be just a normal guy. I have tried to date a little more--I have had a few close guy friends who I have even tried to hold hands with--but it always just feels weird and wrong. Usually those friendships disappear pretty quickly. Many of my girl friends will often tell me about the cute guys they know that like me. I try to sound interested, or play it off that none of those guys are my type. But no one knows how I really feel about it--that no guy will ever be my type. If only those girls knew that it was THEM who I was really dreaming about.

This is Part Four of a seven-part blog series. Check in tomorrow for Part Five: A Time of Crisis.

You can also read the full article at A Straight Mormon Comes Out.

(Note: This series in in response to A Gay Mormon Coming Out (live)Gays and MormonsMormon Couple With A Gay Husband And Straight Wife, and other similar stories/videos)

No comments :

Post a Comment